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This is such a great, great question, and I can’t wait to see what the readers say.
First, let me just say that this doesn’t sound so “casual” to me — the fact that these men were making these comments knowingly in your presence is shocking, and says a lot about the power dynamics at that lunch and in your sector.
This has a few advantages: – You actually get encouragement and support from your female peers, and perhaps your group can even brainstorm for how to actually change things in the industry (or at least in your area).
At the very least you can educate other women that these kinds of comments are not acceptable, which in and of itself might change things.
c) Start a networking/support group for women in your niche area.
(I’m assuming one doesn’t already exist; if one does, join it!
I’d avoid making the initial email a “call to action” or complaining in any way about your experience — but rather just putting the feeler out to see if people want to get together.
If other people have had similar experiences (and I’m sure they have) then your email will be welcome. Ultimately, I think you’re on the right track by getting out of the company — this misogyny is absolutely something that should be mentioned at your exit interview, and I might even go so far as to write a letter to them so that any woman in the future (who might, say, bring suit) has evidence that the higher ups knew of the problem.
As I work in a fairly male-dominated sector I’m worried I will run into this more frequently at my next places of work and as I move up the career ladder.
2017 Update: We still stand by this advice on what to do when you work with sexist pigs (although hopefully in 2017 the tide is turning! You may also want to check out some of our more recent discussions on sexual harassment at work.
My current workplace is relatively gender-balanced, and after a year of working here I haven’t really encountered any overt sexism.
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